You know what?

*****I WANT TO BE PERFECTLY CLEAR ABOUT THIS POST, NOTHING IS RELATED TO MY JOB IN TERMS OF THE MEANINGS IN HERE, IT'S ALL PERSONAL******


Something in me switched on today.

I don't know why or how, but it did. And you know what, things have to change in my life.

I know exactly what I need to do and I don't know why but there seems to be some urgency about it, as if things are ramping up for a decent attack soon. Where or from who, I don't know.

But, the last time something switched on like this, there was a an attack to be had and I knew exactly what my place in it was and how to deal with it because I was prepared.

There are some things in the very basicness of my life that has to fundamentally move into places I've not been in a while. The last time things like this had to shift I lost the one I loved, my home, and contact with just about all the people I cared about. I was left with just a couple of close friends who could direct me in the things I needed to focus on and all the other distractions were violently removed from my life.

I'm thinking I won't need something like that again because I know the switch on what needs to happen has flipped, but you know what, I can handle it if I get myself back to the place I was during that time. Hell, I can take on anything including the beasts of Hell itself - it wouldn't be the first time I've looked them in the eye and laughed.

So you know what - fuck just about everything. I know what needs to be done and how to do it and nothing else but that matters and if I lose just about everything and everyone again, so be it. This has to take precidence.

A bit cryptic, I know, but I know what I'm doing.

La. Sra.