I'm not nearly snowed in as those in NY, but, the drifts in the driveway are annoyning.
I had trouble getting into the driveway today after picking up the lass from Martas. I had to get a couple of running starts but I finally made it. I was NOT parking in the street tonight. I just hope the hubby can make it into the driveway tonight when he gets home.
He does have an advantage as he's got and all wheel drive vehicle, even if it is only a car.
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Interesting few weeks
Between runs to and from Indy and having my meetings this week moved to next due to the wx I think I'm finally getting back into the swing of life.
The one bad part of the job is that sometimes you get so swamped doing different things for the jurisdictions you work with that you never get much of anything done for anyone. I think things have calmed down where I can get some things hammered out that I've been waiting to do. The next day or so in the home office should help get that finished and then the meetings from this week are now next week so I'll be working out of the area, but maybe next week toward the end of the week I can hit up the seven counties I haven't seen in close to a month.
Its completely frustrating, but, that's the nature of the job.
I've also made some other interesting observations from the world around me the past few weeks:
1. Some people can't see past themselves for the greater good of people. Its my right to do this - its my right to make your choice for you when you can't afford something that could save your life. Are people really that small?
2. Those not in a right relationship with Jesus can do great, and they can have heartbreaking lives. Those in the latter are those I can do nothing for person to person and that's frustrating. They wither away in their misery with no joy or a twisted happiness that lasts for brief moments. It breaks your heart to see them in that state but nothing you say or do can really make a difference until they're wiling to comes to grips with Jesus, no matter how much they despise religion and all things pertaining (or even having a mild discussion) on their philosophies.
3. I actually went to church Sunday. It was interesting. I didn't disagree with much the preacher said, although the one thing that kind of tipped my warning flags was he related sickness with an attack of evil. I'm not so much into that completely. Yes, evil can have dominion in the physical, I've seen it happen before, but on the whole, I really think it goes to God allowing it to happen for whatever reason, good or bad. It could be a test of faith, it could be a spiritual ass kicking. That's between the person and God, but I don't see most illnesses/physical ailments an attack.
4. You really see the true character of people when they are at their worst. Most of the time they can come through with shining colors and although it may be bad, you still respect them in the end. Other times, their pain takes over and breaks your heart in how ugly humanity can really be and reveals more of the dysfunction a life can have without a right relationship with Jesus. Again, there's nothing you can say to those people until they're ready to see themselves in the ugliness of humanity as Jesus sees them and accept the changes that need to happen to get through the pain.
5. I think I may actually go back to church on Sunday. It all really hinges on when the baby wakes up. The weekend is the time I really hate waking her up before we have to b/c we have to wake her up early most weekday mornings. So far, I think this is a church where the truths I know will be given a fair listening and a civil reaction from those who may not agree, unlike what I would expect at most churches. We'll see how it goes. It may not be where I end up in the end, but it seems like a good jumping off point to get back in to church.
6. My daughter's stomach just isn't big. She's been sick and only gained 2 oz in 2 weeks. She's still on the growth chart but in the low teens in terms of weight for her age. The doc wants her up to 30 oz of breastmilk a day and that's going to deplete the stash much sooner than I had hoped. Because it won't make it till May we're going to have to suppliment with formula. After the reaction to the yogurt I think we're going to start with soy based formula. If we suppliment one bottle (or do two half formula half breastmilk bottles ) a day I think we stretch the amount of breastmilk I have frozen as I'm only pumping 2 to 6 oz a day and she's going through almost 12 oz during that time - you can see the difference. But, we're having trouble getting her to eat 25 oz a day plus the other stuff without being on the verge of spitting up and her stomach all distended so it'll be intersting to see how we can space the feedings out to allow her to eat but not gorge. This is completely frustrating. I just wish the nursing had gone better. Maybe it'll be better with the next baby.
7. I really have to get my head out of my ass. I have so many things I get distraught about and I don't know some of the things I should be doing vs. what I want to do and the things I need to do always takes a backseat. I can be a complete lazyass. After working all day and trying to pump the baby full of food I want to do NOTHING (except maybe watch a good TV show or say howdy on the blogs). Like in the past few weeks in my professional life I feel like there are so many things going on that I can't get any one thing tackled. In addition I still really want to go get my masters degree but part of me can't wait until the day I can stay home but then I worry that I will go crazy with no adult interaction. This is where the whole right relationship with Jesus comes in. I'm definately not where I used to be and it's irritating at the core of who I am.
7b. I still haven't recovered from the grief of losing Rich. I used to think that when I started dating my now husband I stepped away from really focusing on Jesus and my relationship with him. However, I realize that it really was when Rich got very sick and I didn't talk to him for the few weeks before he died. It makes a difference in terms of the passion you have for something when you have someone to share the excitement of what you learn. I have a couple other people that are those kindred spirits but one is now in Texas and I rarely hear from her and the other is having some personal issues of her own and I don't call her nearly as much as I should. I have to get past the grief and the heartache or I'm going to stay stagnant and I don't want that.
8. I love the show 'Heroes'. It's completely addicting. It makes me enjoy waking up to a Monday.
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It's after 10:30 and I need to grab some sleep. I can't manage to get enough sleep at nights anymore. No matter how early I go to bed I cannot get up in the morning and feel rested. I was hoping to get to bed right after I put the baby down a couple of hours ago, but, obviously that didn't happen.
Everybody stay safe!!!!!!
La. Sra.
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