I confess - I lied!

For many years I operated under the false assumption that I was not a 'high maintenance and demanding B#!*h'.

In some ways, I really am not.

But then again. I really am very demanding when it comes to a serious, marriage caliber, relationship.

So, to confess - I lied. I'm sorry I said I wasn't demanding and high maintenance, please forgive me for not telling the truth.

Because the truth is - I am.

And, I make no apologies for that.

I mean, really, what is so wrong with having a high expectation of how I expect a man to be? Especially if:

1 - has the remote inkling he wants to be my husband;

2 - claims to be a Christian;

3 - I've experienced that kind of amazing love before so I know it's possible for a man to put for the effort to love in that kind of way (and he was in such a close relationship to Jesus it was actually possible for him to love me in an incredible way) and be successful in that endeavor;

and

4 - by the Blood of Jesus that bought me from Hell I'm worth being treated well and not having less that what the death of Jesus affords me to have.

What's wrong with that - ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

I only wish more women and churches would hold their men to the standard God does without fear that their men would punk out and run away from them. If they run, let them run - God's got you ladies - and Bodies.

Your true Husband's got you whether or not the men stay around.

So, oh, probably a few weeks ago I got this crazy idea where I wondered what an 'application' to date me would look like. What would I put in it? How involved would it be?

It kept creeping into my mind and more and more I had questions develop until it pretty much ate at me and I had to put it down into a visible form to get it out of my head.

It took about two hours to develop and is in the post below. It is partially serious in nature. It is partially incredibly absurd for the sake of being absurd.

As serious as I take myself, I don't take myself THAT seriously.

Ok, maybe I do and I'm lying again. :)

The sad thing is, nearly every single question was developed from some kind of event I have lived through in my life or saw others live through.

Kind of like those crazy rules at camp - thou shalt not toss a wild animal from a moving vehicle unless it is attacking you - they're written because it happened.

I can safely say I can laugh about 95% of the origins of these questions.

And no, I've never dated a drag queen - that I know of!

This is really for entertainment purposes and I pray my unmarried girlfriends get a huge laugh out of this. I've probably put down onto 'paper' what has gone through their minds for a long time.

If any of you have suggestions of other questions (absurd or otherwise) to add, go for it. I'm putting it out there with a smile.

And, before you ask, no - I wouldn't ever ask a man to complete this.

And the expectations I hold a man to - I am more than willing to pour every ounce of my being into helping them achieve it IF AND WHEN they are in a state where they become teachable and are willing to have my support.

I would never demand/expect something from someone if I was not willing to put any and all energy into getting it done. I cannot do it for you or spoon feed you - but, if you're willing to pour yourself into it - so am I. Therein lies the difference.

However, this is insight into my mind and how it works when marriage and my family is on the line.

And - a question that everyone seems to be rhetorical, but it really isn't - where are the unmarried Men of God that are not repulsive in the natural?

All I ever come across are Men of God that are married or so repulsive in the natural (including vile words that slide off their tongues meant to flatter and seduce and put things out of Order, not just in my life, but the church as well) they are immediately rejected

- OR -

men that are decent in the natural that are have no strength of faith and in desperate need of spiritual deliverance who run at the first hint of being held to a standard they don't want to believe exists because their church refuses to teach it for fear of losing massive amount of congregants and their checkbooks.

I mean, really, WHERE ARE THE REAL, UNMARRIED, DECENT MEN OF GOD?????

But alas - I hope you enjoy this. One person has already said it makes Eharmony look like child's play.

Peace, Joy, Blessings, Love, and Laughter -

La. Sra.