Less me, more you

- He who saves his life will lose it and he who loses his life will gain it.

- Extend yourselves to honor each other above yourselves.

- They had all things in common and no one had any need - not just food, water, clothing, transportation - NO need of anything.

- Deny yourself and take up your cross and follow me.

- Serve one another in love.

- I your teacher and Lord have washed your feet.

- Love one another as I have loved you.

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We have yet to come to the end of ourselves.

We have hit a glass ceiling both in the manifestation of Holy Spirit power and finances that cannot be broken until we finally come to the end of ourselves.

If you find yourself saying:

- Oh, I don't do poopy diapers anymore, have fun!

Or

- Ummmm, I gotta run, but I bet so and so will do (enter 'nasty' job here).

Or

- I love you, but not that much to have done (enter task) for you.

Then we have yet to come to the end of ourselves and the life of self has yet to die - the end result of that being a lack of power and finances manifesting due to a lack of love.

Do you think it was easy for Jesus to kneel down and wash the grimy feet of the disciples? It was probably as nice as a poopy diaper - but he did it anyway.

When we all get to the point where there's pretty much nothing we wouldn't do for another - no matter how much time it costs us, or if it's poopy (literally or metaphorically), or how ucky or sweaty we might become - we will have met a major benchmark of love.

Jesus poured out every single drop of blood in His body for us and told us to do the same for each other.

But our selfishness - that which sent us out of the Garden - is capable of being killed, but we still cling to it like a binky.

If we find ourselves saying we don't have the time to help on many an occasion then perhaps a re-arrangement of our priorities is needed.

Turn the rapebox (aka tv) off. Find things that are not necessary to survive in your schedule and kill them.

Leave holes in each and every day possible so that you can be there in an instant - granted it may not be possible every day to do every day but make it more often than not.

And, God will bring you things to fill those moments. Perhaps no one needs you in those moments - they are then free to be praying and ministering as a priest to your God. Learn His word, yearn for the Fire to fall and baptize you.

Its easy to love when little demand is placed upon us - and as Paul said - even the Gentiles are capable of that.

But when we shirk back from even the idea that we could give ourselves to do wretched jobs for others, the poison of our treacherous, sinful, selfish selves is apparent and should be dealt with immediately.

We have the Order established. We have the passion of prayer and submission and fervor of desire to see the things come forth.

Add an additional depth of love, and perhaps our Holy Spirit and financial breakthrough will be just around the corner.

It is, indeed, the year of the Lord's release.

Peace,

La. Sra.

Waiting for the Concrete Patch to Cure

I am a Queen - one of the loveliest of all the Brides.

I am strong, endowed with a strength from a never-ending source - able to do the mightiest tasks with a gentle ease.

I am the conqueror of the world. My words are given the same weights as those of my King.

There are days I am acutely aware of my solitary status, but even in those days, I lay down in my bed at night knowing the Spirit of My Love was beside me every moment of that day and the ache is a little less sharp.

I am a ministering priest to the Ruler of the Universe - an amazing thing to think I could even bring the haze of the incense into His Outer Court, let alone the Holiest of Holies.

But even with the Brideship and the Priesthood my heart aches some days.

I was born a helpmate. To be the right hand of a man. To hold up and support and move forward the greatness of a man.

And the Priesthood and the Brideship are amazing, but yet, the longing for that season when I can come home and celebrate with the leader of my home the victories of the Lord for that day.

To be able to open some of the innermost places of my spirit and find agreement and an apostolic force to help build it in this realm.

To share a common vision and drive it prophetically into manifestation.

To know the rest of a wife and mother - not shouldering the four-part covering as I am currently.

To minister to a man the way I minister to God and see the increasing greatness therein.

To know the overflow of love in my heart the way I never thought possible by having faithful arms to hold my spirit and embrace its passions that I have held for so long - pursuing on my own for lack of a suitable partner.

In the stillness of some afternoons my heart aches for this fellowship of another. there is something to be said for the accompaniment of another human.

My King already knows my heart, my passions, my dreams. He reveals His Truth in His Word, but there still lies in my soul that ache to share with another human - a partner for all the days of my life - that piece that is still missing and that at times leaves a gaping hole to ache in my soul.

Is Jesus enough for me - absolutely yes - by and far - yes.

But as humans we were made and said that it was not good for us to be alone - and every now and then that small portion is brought to the surface from it's hiding place deep in my soul.

And perhaps one day that hole will finally be patched for good - and that ache will be a forgotten memory of the past.

Peace,
La. Sra.

A little slice of Heaven

. . . . Of Glory . . . . .

Unity is the key that ushers in greater power and indwelling of the Holy Spirit among a group of believers. There are times it is achieved on a low level and other times when it is palatable in the air.

Such was Sunday night at Southgate Church.

I had the pleasure of sitting up in the sound booth for the first hour of the service and the view was incredible. The initial rush of people into the sanctuary was incredible. There was almost a rush of wind carried in as a semi-orderly flow of people hurried to their seats.

It was a rare time that I have seen people cheering louder for Christ than they do for sporting events - the roar was almost deafening - as if amplified by angels that surrounded the place.

Unity brings in so many things that are not seen normally. Black, White, Interracial, Hispanic, maybe Asian - all in the same place, worshiping the same Jesus. Some from Indiana, some from Baltimore, some from Detroit, some from Georgia, some from Chicago, some from God only knows where.

We surely pulled down a small piece of Heaven that night. Anyone there can tell you. It was such a preview of the things to come.

One of my favorite parts of the few Healing Song services I have been to is near the 'afterset' where the 'kids' somehow take the stage, from toddler on up to mid-20s, and manage to take the mics.

The next revival has been prophesied to be greater than that at Azousa Street - mainly because the governmental structures are in place to continue its growth - something that was missing at Azousa.

And when I look at the 'kids', I see it. I see Apostle Coates and those near him; then under him - a second generation of leaders like Prophet Jeff and Pastor Ani and Apostle Mario - and then a third generation - including those like myself and the Luckeys down to Charelle and Gary Jr.

Add to that mix the children of April, Chantilly, myself and many more and you see a four-fold set-up of apostolic 'fathers' and 'sons'.

Rarely is something of that depth seen, with 'fathers' and 'sons' of this caliber. Lord, what are we about to see come down to Earth?

Unity can always go deeper, even among the first Apostles and Church unity was something that grew from the day of Pentecost forward.

The deeper we go, continuing to build the foundations and governmental structures among four generations so that when what will be given to us can be sustained forever, the closer we get to having the outpouring of signs, wonders and miracles in unseen fashion bestowed upon us.

It's coming. The atmosphere generated by members of dozens of church bodies in unity with one another at Healing Song is an encouragement that we are going in the right direction. We just need more of it and the continuation of a greater quality of what we tasted Sunday night.

It IS coming.

Peace,
La. Sra.

Heartbreaking lie

I have, in recent months, heard from the mouth of several Christians something along the lines of 'it is impossible to know the mind of God' and their tone is that if you claim to have insight on what He wants and that you speak in such a way that claims as much you are a heretic and are blaspheming.

And the more I hear this coming from people who do have a genuine love for Jesus the more I ache for them. It reminds me of the passage in Acts where the apostles go into a church formed after the scattering and ask what baptism they have had as believers and to the surprise of the apostles they have only had the baptism of John.

How much they were missing!!!!

But, even with only that baptism, deep down in their souls loved Jesus.

My ache turns into righteous indignation only when I try to present the scriptural basis for how we can know the Mind and Heart of God and they refuse to believe that those scriptures are real. They would prefer to live in a helpless world of wandering in the dark than gaining the freedom that is found in the Word.

It is an unsettling concept, one that carries great responsibility and weight, but one that frees us in a way that is indescribable.

And I begin to watch the naysayers closely, looking at every little detail in their relationships, and what I see is not surprising.

In many ways, we relate to others the way we relate to God. What we do is more telling than any words we could say. And the reflection of this mindset that we cannot begin to know the Mind of God is reflected in the superficiality of their relationships - and even some of the deeper relationships they have with others goes little past the surface.

Man man and Woman man - both made in the image of God. The Body is not referred to the Bride as a simple metaphor. We are modeled after the Trinity.

The Holy Spirit was not given just to empower us. No, the Holy Spirit is a counselor. That description of the Holy Spirit is one of the first ways Jesus described it as He told the 11 and others at His ascension to wait for it in Jerusalem.

And the greatest beauty and one of the most awe-inspiring things about the Holy Spirit is that the Holy Spirit searches the most inner reaches of God's own Heart and Mind. The Holy Spirit seeks that out of Him and counsels us - we creatures that are lower than angels and had to be bought with death.

The inner most things of His Heart and Mind are available to us through the Holy Spirit.

A GOOD husband doesn't hide is innermost being from his wife, just as she does not hide herself from a man that truly loves her. She is let in on his desires, on his wishes, on what drives him. She finishes his sentences. She knows when his heart hurts. She knows what his favorite meal is. She knows HIM - because he has let himself be open to a woman who was willing to learn.

It is the same with with God. The Holy Spirit is the vehicle to learn these things and so much more about Him - our Husband. Not a Husband like what most people understand a marriage to be - but for a willing Wife, the most glorious of intimacy is available to Her - which, as a woman I can say this - is the most important aspect of a marriage to a woman. We as the Bride are allowed unfettered access to our Husband's Heart and Mind as much as we are willing to drink it in.

They who say that this is heresy, blasphemy, reveal the state of their spirits and souls and makes plain the level of credence they give to the Holy Spirit and His role in our lives.

Those who reject that it is possible, when argument for it is made, would do well to long, hard look at their relationships and see how broken and superficial they really are. Because if we can't let God in through the counselor of His inner most thoughts, as believers, who can we truly let in?

Peace,
La. Sra.

Renewed desire . . .

It's been almost two years since I've posted on here. New home, new life, stronger faith and older babies.

For the most part I will most likely use this venue for new pieces and the occasional update on the family life.

I was thinking about Rich the other night. He always said he'd write the forward to any book I ever wrote. I almost wonder if he did it and left it somewhere. I'm sure his parents haven't moved things since he died, even though it will be 7 years come August. Someday the book will happen. He would be proud. God I do miss him, terribly some days.

My babies are now 4 and 2 and they amaze me every day. They minister to me in ways I never imagined possible.

I have so many things running through my head most days I want to get them down somewhere so they are not lost - so this may be a place where I end up dumping mentally, but for me, healing and revelation are found in the process - has happened that way for years - and perhaps people can find their own healing from my process.

It is late. I must be going, more possibly tomorrow.

La. Sra.

New photos will be coming soon!

Greetings to all!

I got my new camera batteries all ready to rock and roll and have new photos. Unfortunately, they're not on this computer . . . booo. But they are going to be with me the next few days so I will hopefully get there.

If you're on MySpace or Facebook you can see them there, there won't be any new ones to see here. But, for those not on those services I will hopefully by Wednesday have the up.

Now, it's almost 11 and I need to boogie.

Chao!

A quiet day

Greetings!!!!!

I've had a nice, quiet day of relaxing this Friday. I thought I was going to end up with some work to do, but, after re-figuring my hours for the week I had none left!!

Since the kids were already at the sitter's I decided it was a good day to be here and just relax a bit. This is something I don't get often. Case in point, I even got to dry my hair today. That just doesn't happen anymore.

I thought I was going to get the tires on my car replaced but Wal-Mart doesn't have them in stock anywhere so it's a special order. Just shy of 900 dollars later I'll be able to get them to a local Wal-Mart and get them replaced in probably about 2 weeks. Hopefully my poor tires will hang in there that long.

Why Wal-Mart you ask. Because for 10 bucks a tire you can basically 'insure' them for roadside hazards and get them replaced or patched for free (or prorated cost) at any Wal-Mart in the nation with a tire center. After 43,000 miles in just over a year that's vital. I can't be in Gary/East Chicago or Fort Wayne and have a tire go and have to wait till I can get it to South Bend for a fix. There's no point in that, or pay out the ass for a fix. Wal-Marts are about everywhere and most anymore have tire centers if there's only one Wal-Mart in town. 

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Wedding season starts next week for me. I'm only doing about a third of what I did last year. I just really burned out after doing so many (I think it was something like 10 weddings in 12 weeks) and with all the travel I had last year for work. It just got to be too much, so I think it's something like 6 weddings from now till November.

It's bad enough that I don't have a bazillion photos of the kids but after wedding season I just don't want to pull the monster out of the bag. Now my little camera, sure. But I lost the battery charger and the Circuit City replacement was 80 bucks so I found ones online for more reasonable pricing but ordered the wrong one. So I've since returned them and await the correct ones to be shipped.

Once that happens I'll post some new photos of the darlings. The munchkin is hitting the 2s in a not-so-bad way, although I've heard the 3s suck for girls. The babe is beautiful and smiling and just started rolling over this week. He gets really pissed or scared when he does it, but I think he'll grow to love it.

More pics soon, I promise!!!!!!

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Our church switches to a new organization as of Aug. 1. Same pastor, different name, different board of directors and different direction.

It's going to be exciting. From my chats with the elders the Antioch Glory Center (Church) is going to be awesome. It's a step forward now that the foundation is laid we can go on further from that foundation and this is a good stepping point.

I was talking to one of the elders about having the sermons and the Wednesday night services posted online and do something like $50 for the year of unlimited downloads for Sundays, $20 for the year for Wednesdays and $60 for unlimited for both. Normally copies of the sermons are $6 a piece. She loved the idea and said they had thought of doing that already. I'll see if I can't convince them to do some kind of podcast during the week as well, either from Pastor Jeff, Prophet Pat or Gary or maybe Pastor Barbara that would be downloadable for free.

There's so much that can be done. It's going to be kickass.

______________________

This little tidbit came to me a few weeks ago at home. It hit me in the shower (which for most people is where all good ideas hit them) and I was able to get to my notebook fast enough to get it down on paper so I wouldn't forget it (I have a bad habit of that). This is something that has come to me before but I lost the thought but I'm glad it came back.

Faith without works is about as useless as a screen door on a submarine--- Screen door by Rich Mullins.

Love this song. It's a capella and catchy and one my dad always loved. But for some reason it hit me and I wondered 'Faith without works - what defines works?'

Listen to most churches and they'll tell you whatever your spiritual gifts are and how you use them are your works. Do mission work, go where your heart tells you. 

In honesty that's all fine and good, but it's not right. Oswald Chambers makes a good point when he says that the heart is one of the most corruptible parts of the body and that the heart has to yield to the Holy Spirit. In addition, he also makes a good point that having spiritual gifts are great, but it's not the end all be all that most organizations leave them at.

The truth is that the works as they are include what we are approved by Jesus to do with our lives - no matter how small or big.

What does that mean? Chambers can do a much better job of explaining it than I can and I do suggest everyone fork over the $40 and get his complete works from a bookstore website (don't count on finding it in stores). But in essence - we have to search the Holy Spirit and get confirmation on what we are to do. Sometimes it's in line with our gifts, sometimes not as proof that only God could make it happen and give you the ability to do it as well as you end up doing it. It's not always what our heart wants and the size and complexity of the thing approved for us to do is in accordance with the amount of trust Jesus has in us based on our relationship with him. If we've shown faithful in the small things bigger things will come our way. If not, we may never get past the small things.

Now I've been on that tangent - the other main thing that is what constitutes 'works' is the sacrificing ourselves daily - giving up everything for the glory of God - the living sacrifice - is what the true works are. They are the fundamentals of our faith and without these works of nailing every dream, hope, wish, desire, absolutely everything to the cross and allowing Jesus complete reckless abandon to ourselves and operating in what the Holy Spirit gives us there is no way of having a sustainable faith.

Too often people believe that their works have to be centered around activities they have not first put through the test of the Holy Spirit and see if it is truly the work they are to be doing.

The sad thing is that true work that comes with an alive faith is so different from what people have been taught to do as ' faith's works' that the true work - that of carrying our crosses daily and being the living sacrifices God commands when we come into salvation - that it is almost a type of work not accepted by the bound Body.

Sadly, those few who do understand this are either rejected by their local church or have little support to begin with that the passion and truth they have a comprehension of are easily lost under the pressure of the bound believers.

What would become of the Body if the true work was properly explained and accepted as a fundamental of most local bodies?

It is incredibly easy to tell who is and who doesn't live in this revelation. Again - not necessarily to the fault of the standard believer - they've had no one to teach them. (But why has there been this breakdown? This is the basics of the faith and yet so few know it and even fewer actually operate as often as possible in this way).

When the work fall into the true righteousness - no the self satisfying that many churches tout - then we begin to see what true faith is really like.

But what about those who do not have the true works - what becomes of them in the end? Could it be that all the nice things they do will mean nothing? Is it truly their fault? Perhaps, perhaps not.

If you fail to operate in righteousness then how can what you do outside of it be in order with what God has approved for us to do? Will it pass the tests of fire on the other side of eternity? There is a good chance it won't - a major blow to the many who spent their entire lives living (mostly unknowingly) a lie because those who speak on behalf of God know little (or ignore what they know out of fear of looking like an 'unsuccessful' church).

So does that mean that those operating out of order without the knowledge that they are doing so have any less blessing than those who are in order? (I originally used the work faith instead of blessing but the past few weeks on Sunday we have been covering how all people have the same measure of faith given to them so I'm trying to find a more apt word to get across my point).

That's a tough call. I think fundamentally they don't if their passion is locked on Jesus, but there comes a time when with as much passion as they have it does no good if in all their years of reaching to Jesus they've not understood what the scripture have said - or worse - they have intentionally ignored the revelations given to them by the Holy Spirit.

If the passion is there then God will reward with revelations of truth revealed in a multitude of different ways and though many people.

How long till the bonds are broken? How long till we have the Body back to its glory and the people are returned into the truth? I crave that day.

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OK - so I told the sitter I'd be back around 3 give or take and I still have to run to Sams and get diapers for the munchkin or we're going to have a real issue here soon.

Hope everyone has a really really great weekend. We get to see the abuelos tonight and I know the munchkin is really looking forward to it.

Stay safe and somebody have a good beer (and I stress GOOD beer, none of that cheap shit, please!) for me - the babe is eating too often for me to have much of anything and I still have some of my dad's raspberry wheat homebrew in the fridge and some Heineken at the abuelos. Someday the babe will give me a few more hours between feedings.

Alas. I must run!!!

Chao,

La. Sra.